Monkeys and butterflies

Monkeys and butterflies 

With a name like mine, I should be talking about parrots and birds, not monkeys and butterflies! Well, we early childhood educators are obsessed with stories, and stories are incomplete without animals. I am going to talk about monkeys and butterflies…and of course humans too.

Monkeys.

A group of monkeys- say 8-10- were put in a room, in the middle of the room was a ladder reaching up to the ceiling and on the ceiling were hanging a tempting bunch of bananas. Now of course the monkeys will climb the ladder to reach the bananas …but as soon as one of them would climb the ladder, ice water would be sprayed on each monkey in the room, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him/her up. Soon none of the monkeys attempt to climb the ladder. One of the original monkeys is then removed and a new one is added in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder he wonders why none of the monkeys are doing the obvious, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys pull him down and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However he no longer attempts to climb the ladder. A second original monkey is removed and replaced with a new monkey. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, participates in the beating because all the monkeys are doing it. However he has no idea why he is attacking the new monkey. One by one all the original monkeys are replaced, eight new monkeys are now in the room, none of them have been sprayed with the icy water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder, all of them enthusiastically beat up any new monkey that tries, without knowing why!

And that my friends is how blind traditions get established and followed. Traditions like

·         Have to get married by a certain age.

·         Have to get married.

·         Must have a baby by a certain age.

·         Must have a baby.

·         Must have a grand wedding even if the rest of your life goes in returning the debt.

·         Must have a son.

·         Must forward fake messages.

·         Must be on social media and pout.

·         My child must be in ‘this’ school.

·         My child must get 99.9%..or better 100%

Must ……? If you want the bananas (no pun intended!) , go for it, stand up, climb the ladder, take the icy water, collaborate with the other monkeys. Stop monkeying around with your life…and life decisions.

Butterflies.

Such beautiful, delicate creatures. What if I said they can cause a typhoon? Really, that delicate butterfly? Yes, it’s called the butterfly effect or the chaos theory. It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wings can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. Chaos! Chaos is the science of surprises, of the nonlinear and the unpredictable. It teaches us to expect the unexpected. While most traditional science deals with supposedly predictable phenomena like gravity, electricity, or chemical reactions, Chaos Theory deals with nonlinear things that are effectively impossible to predict or control, like turbulence, weather, the stock market, our brain states, and so on. By understanding that our ecosystems, our social systems, and our economic systems are interconnected, we can hope to avoid actions that may end up being detrimental to our long-term well being.

The butterfly effect teaches us to be sensitive of our words, our actions, and our tweets! What we post on social media can impact the lives of our family, friends, and communities around the world. It can cause mob reactions, it can cause fights, wars even! Because people today are influenced by social media and trends can begin and chaos can rein. What we say in passing to our children can become their stress. Our words can have a butterfly effect on our children’s emotions and life. Lets be aware of this and ‘flap’ our tongues carefully.

We are humans and have the biggest and best brain, when did we stop using it? Because we have. We have stopped thinking, we just follow-literally. Its time to be human again and start to live your life and make your choices as long as they don’t cause chaos in other people’s lives. Its time  you get your bananas, together, tolerate the  icy water and eat the bananas…instead of becoming a mob. No gain without pain.  And understand the butterfly effect of your words and emotions, on the people  and children around you and around the world. Its time to learn from monkeys and butterflies to become better women…better parents…better teachers….better humans.

Dr. Swati Popat Vats